Hello, dear bookworms! How are you all? It’s again for the recap of the month and my next month goals. I’ve quite a number of things to say and I’m stressing just thinking about writing them.
I’ve quite a load of things to unpack, so be ready for my usual long post about my delusional blogging expectation and harsh reality crushing me.
YOU ALL READING THIS POST AND ME WRITING IT
This month has been much better than the one before! Because I went from zero read to three books! Not all reads were amazing but I’m super glad that I managed to actually do something during this month.
- Fawkes got as an eArc ages ago but I didn’t enjoy that much. In the end it didn’t work for me at all. Plus some issue that I wanted to address but… it was messy and I didn’t find much confrontation from other bloggers.
- The Raging Ones is a sci-fi that gave me some mixed feeling for the world building but I felt really near the characters and the end left me really waiting for the sequel.
- The Bird Box is a dystopia horror full of gore that I read in little time… and during night. Yeah, I had the perfect genius idea. It wasn’t so scary but put a lot of tension on me.
ON MY SIDE
I’m officially at 327 followers between email subscribers and wordpress followers! I wanted to reach 400 but is still better than nothing because I’ve been quite inactive and also got an unplanned week hiatus, and I didn’t comment as much as I wanted…. things like those. And in a way or another I’m happy of what I wrote.
So, during this month I reviewed Fawkes and The Raging Ones. On other post I:
- featured a special post about the a-spectrum and inclusive language.
- one of the most loved blog post was about useful place for graphics where bloggers can get many freebies for their blog graphics
- and I wrote a discussion post about the impact of book in real life as an inspiration
AROUND THE BLOGS
Again I need to state that I’m sorry on how I didn’t comment on every post I’m going to link here, but trust when I say that I read them. I’m trying but I cannot follow everything 😞
- Cait talked about how to keep writing with a mental illness. It was beautiful to see it and for reason I’m going to talk about in my “Life Stuff” section.
- Julianna wrote about what the book blog community need to work on and how being a book blogger has effects on your reading life
- Beth talked about the importance of trigger warnings.
- Dani post was all about the points that will make a yes or a no for a book.
- Marie’s post were all about organization with how to organize blogger life with a spreadsheet and gain followers with interactions.
- Becky gave some important points about how we should stop comparing ourself to other bloggers.
- Danielle shared six things she learned since she started blogging.
- Marta’s post talk about the issue of country representation in books
- Savannah wrote about burn out and how much can affect blogging
- Kelly main topic was about the number of books and it can influence our reader lifestyle and blog
- Louise shared some reflections for new bloggers.
- Aimee discussed useful word about organizing our blog schedule
- Sarah showed some interesting titles about eating disorder in young adult books
I’ve decide to skip the haul section. I got two books but I didn’t take pictures with both of them. Anyway, those weren’t enough to feature in a big haul picture, so…
But on the bright side I did some progress with my WIP. Is not that I started to write again but I figured some things:
- I got that writing in English may not be the better option for a future publication. From one part is great because I don’t have to pay agents for just seeing my work, but all the discourse on piracy… I’m not in the UK or the US. This make me a difficult choice to be picked. And all the tales of authors that were almost dropped by publisher because of pirating book… Yeah, two points against my project
- At the same time writing in Italian is okay but I don’t feel like publishing in my country. Plus I need to pay for being seen by an agent and I don’t have enough money
- I deleted some character from my heavy cast and I got to 27 character between secondary and primary in what is probably going to be a four or five books series
- I did some boards for my characters and created again some of their concepts
- I found another useful book for my research but I’m moving fast as much as I would
My goals for August are quite simple and kind like the same of the whole year? My life is repiting itself.
IN REAL LIFE STUFF
- Stay on my diet but without stressing. Meaning that I will eat healthy and lost some weight if I manage. Nothing extreme, just a little bit that would help some of my conditions. Plus I want to find space to do some exercise.
- Do as much as I can for October upcoming exams. I cannot bring a lot with me during August, but I can work a lot on my computer
- Do good at work. I need to learn few things and I don’t know how is going to be. But I’m doing it for the money.
- Get out enough to realize and wrote my travel blog post. I’ve already decided what I want to write about and I’m positive I will manage some of those.
- Keep contact with my friends and share things with them
- Finish those books for the research, even if I’ve to prioritize those over my reads. I really need to put and end to both books
- Possibly finishing the boards of my characters
- Choose wich research books are good to read next
- I want to write nice thing on my Twitter and interact more with other readers and be less snarky or angry. I need to relax a moment
- Post on Instagram not every five weeks but at least every three or four days.
- Scheduling before the blogger life gets me
- Read at least six books, or stick around the number of five. I don’t pretend to get to ten books or things like that but for sure I need to read more than last month.
Well, this time I will try to be brief. Even I’ve tons of things to say. First and most important things is that I’m finally getting peace with the fact that I’ve a form of anxiety and finding affirmative to say it aloud. But I’ve more dark stuff inside me and I’m not in the condition to talk about it with everyone.
Few days ago I had another anxiety attack and my parent are slowly starting to get that I’ve something. Still, despite themself being subject to anxiety and past form of depression (I’d to force them to spill it out), they’re ableist as hell. But that’s a typical reaction that many Italians have because of my nation background. They would never admit to have any form of mental illness or problems.
Because of this anxiety issue, I had a confrontation with my mother and:
- maybe I went somewhere
- still she puts everything on herself instead of focusing on the fact that I needed help. Also she went on with how much it wasn’t her fault if she wasn’t trained to catch my situation. And that I should be more patient/open toward other people like her. This will never happen.
- instead of suggestion therapy, she want me to see a sophrologyst. This will never happen x2.
So, I got that in my country, I will try to survive on my own. Anyway, my condition also made me suspect of other things but at the same time it sabotage my suspicion. I cannot talk with my parents about those exams because it took ages to just made them realize that I’ve anxiety and they still downplay everything. Plus the money. Maybe I will address my doctor to help me with somethings.
Also, I decide that one day I’m gonna talk about some issue with a friend of mine but I need to find the right way to handle it. I don’t need people who stress over me, but that know who I’m and help when I feel like in need.
I’m exploring more and more my orientation. I still stick to my asexual part, but while my whole life experience suggest that I may be aromantic, I cannot help to have a sort of romantic mind and this confuse me a lot. Maybe I’m demiromantic but is not like I bump into people everyday… so I can’t figure it out. The only thing I’m sure about is esthetic attraction and I realized that I’m attracted to more than one gender. But I’m still on the fact to get if gender actually plays a role or not, if I’m more attracted to the figure itself in matter of pure esthetic and style or something else too.
MYSELF WHILE SOME PART OF MY MINDS TRY TO GET THINGS
This also don’t help me to figure out the actual difference between romantic and sensual attraction. Like, I see it but when it comes to my personal sphere, things get confused. Especially because I s ee a lot of people push on the idea that romantic attraction should be all about: dates, kissing, holding hands, cuddling… Personally I don’t cuddle or hold hands with anyone and I don’t see why I should do it, even if I feel something for someone else that may be romantic. What stop me from doing a date without kissing and such but seeing things together and talking? Maybe I need explore more the platonic side of the a-spectrum. But a lot of people also talk how much romantic attraction is different from person to person. And since my mind like to over think things, everything get complicated.
That’s pretty much all of it. My burning out exams stuff and having existential crisis. Oh, but wait… I’m going to work next month! My real first work. And I’m gonna do some travel post for the occasion.
HOW WAS YOUR MONTH? DID IT WENT WELL? YOUR FAVORITE READ AND THE WORST ONE? SOMETHING YOU WANT TO SHARE?