May’s Recap and June’s goals || Or the story of “why am I failing at this?”

ReapRA

Hello, bookworms! Can we all scram together? Because today is the second day of June. I cannot believe that at least half of the year is gone. I don’t even know that time passed. Like, how it happened? Just how?

I don’t have much to say this time, so I will keep this recap short, but here we go.

mini divisorio

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Well, how can I say that…  I DIDN’T READ AT ALL. Like zero books. I started Ruin and Rising and Fawkes (an upcoming book) but I really failed at finish both of them.

Also, my whole YALC tbr crushed because after some budget counts I noticed that I will not attend at it. Yeah… not the good notice I needed. It’s such a big let down to skip this year too, but I’m kinda “okay” there there were a lot of authors I wasn’t interested into it. But yet I will miss the occasion to meet Tomi Adeyemi 😦

My mood during this period

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ON MY SIDE

Do you remember when I was all like: “let’s reach 300 followers by June”? Well, I reached 256, which is really better than nothing. I liked to see that even if I took an unplanned hiatus, people went and followed my blog anyway.

Anyway, even if I skipped a lot of posts, I wrote things I’m quite happy about what I published. First of all, I did a lot of tags! I’m sure I was tagged to other during the month but I’m probably going to skip those. So, during May I did:

On the reviews’ side, I wrote down three of them and you all seemed quite interested:

This month I did zero discussion, but I’m planning some interesting topics. Also, I’m probably going to do a second edition of a post dedicated to Italian publishers:

 

AROUND THE OTHER BLOGS

Little disclaimer: I’m sorry but the majority of this post… I never commented. I just really have zero time to stop actively by other blogs. But I swear I’ve a long list with all the links and I’m gonna pass by as soon as possible!

i'm sorry oswald cobblepot GIF by Gotham

Forgive me?

Those are the posts I noticed during me being kinda absent from the community. I will try to catch up as soon as possible.

goals

As you notice… there’s no WIP section, because honestly, what is writing? I just sit during the last days to re-read a bit of my new first chapter written in English.

But now, onward with my goals! And the recap of me failing >.>

FOR MY BODY

  • My diet… I ate too many ice cream. No more to say. But I didn’t gain any weight. I will see to go with being as much as healthy as I can, but without stressing out.
  • I decided to drop the exercise. I’ve no time to do them during those days and I arrived at home really tired. I might try out for a few days and see if I keep up, but in case I will not manage it, I will try to walk more instead of taking a bus (for example). So, doing little things like that one.

FOR MY HEALTH

  • The appointment I’ve with the neurologist is going to be in June, so no news on that side.
  • I still need to get my IPL

GENERAL

  • exams are coming in batch and I’m not ready. I’ve too much stuff to do. I’m already going to delay a topic in October. So the focus is: do stuff or I will be in big troubles
  • my London trip to YALC… is not a thing anymore. The friend I was going with drop because of various problems, and I’m probably gonna drop too for money problems. The plane ticket costs too much and I didn’t find a cheap place where to stay. I’m still hoping to find a way to go alone, but it’s a really vague idea
  • On the bright side I reduced my bucket list to few points and more realizable ones. Also, I talked with my  religious friends about how some of her words about LGBT+ folks rubbed me wrong and we clarified.
  • I’m probably going to my city Pride… but I’m not sure. I don’t feel like going alone, because I don’t feel safe as an asexual (I’m going to touch the topic. My other queer friend doesn’t seem so sure about it, my religious friend wants to learn more before entering it because she still feel quite out of it, another friend can’t go, the one that can… used her gay friend to excuse some really homophobic s**t she said. And I’m still bitter. She’s kind of the straight ally to think that is doing everything fine and with good intentions 😠

unpleasant 30 rock GIF

  •  Still planning to see a museum show about Japan art with a special dedicated to sake, plus going to a vintage market in Monti rione with a lot of self fashion designers and see Love, Simon. I’ve to read the book but nevermind

BLOGGING

  • I’ve planned half of the whole… but I’ve to write it down. I’m probably going  to reserve the nights to the blog, but this morning (while I’m writing this post) I’m going to schedule other things. So, I want to schedule but without stressing.
  • NEW THEEEEEMMMMMEEEEE! Yes, I switched officially to the summer theme! It’s about crystals, succulents and magic like feelings. The new header is a bit too much clean for my usual style but I like it at the same time. Also, I reduced the number of intra-post headers (the things I use for dividing the sections) to only two pieces. Let’s see I’m okay with it or not.
  • Blog hopping and finding a way to make comment useful, rich and also read posts in a more fast way. I’ve lost too many contents during this month that I don’t want to do it again

office win GIF by Cheezburger

  • Reading this time will be without TBR. I will use mostly spare time like the morning while I’m the traffic, or really forcing me to read at least half hour before going to sleep. Things like that. I will mostly focusing on Arcs, because my Netgalley ratio is low.. and I’ve seen some title I’m really interested into
  • I will go back to Instagram much more
  • I will be less polemic on the Twitter because aphobia has been cruel to my serenity. The only thing I will tweet about in salty tones is…. ITALY. Reasons below

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Not so much to say here. I’m fine, for being the usual me. I’m slowly starting to let out my anxiety. I had an anxiety attack in class last week or so. It’s not a thing that really destabilize me. I always knew something was off but I never gave it a name until I let it out in public

I was used to keep it at bay but since I met the book community, seeing people so open about their own identity, sexuality, neurodivergency, mental illness… I admitted to myself that there wasn’t worth keeping it behind the curtain. For sure my classmates has been supportive but also gave the usual suggestion that are completely behind useless, like… do yoga. Trust me, it doesn’t go away with yoga. 😂 Other actually just turned away from my display of anxiety in other occasion and clearly don’t know how to help me. Or don’t want to.

I think that all of this external attack was a reflex of all the stress I got from the internet thanks to the rampaging aphobia (I’ve so many bitter remark for this but I will hold myself until the special post). Meaning that in the end I gave it all out. It was also the only way to make my mother admit that I’ve anxiety and she finally talked about therapy (that I will never do because: money). All of this since I repeat to her the same thing for like two years.

Now… ITALY. Italy has a new government. Which is a fascist one (don’t try to contradict me, I’m ready to tear you down). One with a anti lgbt+ person has the head of the section dedicated to family and such. I don’t think this is gonna end nice. I will keep update you all in English under a special thread I will create soon.

 

divisorio due

tell.

HOW WAS YOUR MONTH? SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENED? WHAT DID YOU READ? ANY GOALS FOR JUNE? 

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9 thoughts on “May’s Recap and June’s goals || Or the story of “why am I failing at this?”

  1. I’m so sorry things have been not-so-great! I hope you can find a friend to go with you to your city Pride. And I’ve heard kind of terrible things about the new Italian government. (Can it be worse than the current American president?)
    I hope you can read some more this month and get some rest!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’ve already managed to read one book, so maybe it will be good.

      On a power level, America is worst, but for sure Italy is not gonna be the place for who ever is part of a marginalized group. Those people are dangerous in their own way 😩

      Like

  2. Great recap, and also thanks so much for featuring my post. I’m really glad you enjoyed it enough to feature it. Sounds like you had a bit of a mixed May so I really hope your June is a lot better. That’s such a shame about YALC, I hope you manage to make it there one day because I’m sure you’ll love it, and oh I completely get how your feeling with your WIP because that’s pretty much how mine is going right now (or not going I should say).
    Great post, and again I hope you have a brilliant June 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Aw, here’s to a better month!
    Walking really is great! You don’t need to start necessarily with gym 5x a week or anything like that to see results 🙂
    The new theme is super cute!

    Liked by 1 person

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